SPAM
 

[slow, deep voice]
Mr. “Kooch”?
Would you like to take a survey?
Rates as low as 4.75 percent!
Reduce body fat and look ten years younger!
Earn thousands overnight!
Quit smoking in 7 days – guaranteed!
Lose 50 pounds overnight!
Cut your monthly credit payments in half!
[spoken faster]
Win a FREE Harley-Davidson!
Get paid to take surveys!
Online casino fun right now!
Keep your septic tank running like new!
Is your spouse cheating on you?
Meet devoted and grateful women!
Best mortgage rates in 40 years!
[progressively faster with each line]
Come look at my new webcam site!
Here’s the retirement fund info you requested, GEORGE KOCH!
Work from home, be your own boss!
You may have already won $47,000!
Get paid real money to drive your own car!
How would YOU like to save money on car insurance?
Mail-order brides!
This last name has $674,582.37 in unclaimed funds!

Enough already!

Hang up the phone... No more telemarketer.
Turn off the TV... No more commercial.
Paper into the shredder... No more junk mail.
Hit delete... No more e-mail.
Voila... The spam is canned!